Does God love satin?

This is a surprisingly common question with an equally surprisingly complicated answer. Satin is not actually a fabric; it's a weave, like oxford or twill. In satin, the fibers are typically woven in such a way that one side is very glossy and the other side is dull.

God doesn't have a particular opinion about the satin weave. There's no place in the Bible that stipulates how fibers should be combined to make fabric. In the Mosaic Law, however, God does designate that wool and linen should not be woven together (Deuteronomy 22:11). So, while the Jews were free to make linen satin or wool satin, they were not to combine the two fibers together.

We can't presume to know God's opinion about a fabric that hadn't traversed past China at the time of the Mosaic Law and isn't mentioned in the New Testament. We can only compare satin to biblical principles, specifically, the seven deadly sins.

Pride: It's possible that wearing a satin garment may lead some into pride. But only until someone else comes in wearing silk.

Envy: Anyone who is envious of a satin waistcoat or satin ballet slippers, it's safe to say, simply has an envious spirit. In today's stressful, over-scheduled world, however, people are more likely to be envious of a nice pair of satiny athletic pants.

Gluttony: Satin is actually counter indicated to gluttony. Satin dresses are usually too tight to allow for proper stomach expansion, and satin ties are a magnet for spilled soup.

Lust: Satin is known to have a place in the bedroom. It must be used judiciously, however. When satin sheets meet satin boxers, expect a quick trip to the floor and a broken tailbone.

Anger: Working with satin is definitely linked to anger. The fabric is prone to fraying, snagging, and showing every sewing misstep. This causes sewers to regularly throw their machines out the window in a fit of rage.

Greed: Satin-hoarding is a rare but well-documented condition. It leads to couches upholstered in shiny pink and circus-like tents suspended from vaulted ceilings. It's not very practical, however. Especially if you have cats.

Sloth: When sloths wear clothes, they typically wear onsies of knit cotton. Sloths are not known for wearing satin.

God once told Samuel that while humans look at the outward appearance, He looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). This certainly applies to satin-wearers. God may delight in our creativity when it comes to making things out of satin, but it's us as individuals that He loves.

Unlike Satan. God does not love Satan.

---