How can I stop falling asleep when I am mediating?

Falling asleep while mediating is a common problem. Most people are boring. Most people’s problems are boring. When two boring people have no reason to talk to you, other than their boring problem, which is literally just the other boring person, it can be hard to stay engaged. Mediating is difficult enough as it is, but when you’re struggling to stay awake, it’s even harder. Fortunately, there are ways to keep from nodding off when you’re arbitrating. Three of these are seen in the life of Moses, who was often called on to mediate.

Moses’ Rephidim Raise involves having two co-workers holding your elbows up during mediation. It’s much harder to conk out when there are two people there to shake you awake. Of course, Moses had his arms held up during war, but most mediation sessions get ugly, anyway (Exodus 17:8–13).

Moses’ Jethro Juke involves letting someone else deal with pettier disputes (Exodus 18:12–16). If the mediation is really putting you to sleep, let an intern handle it (Exodus 18:25–26).

Moses’ Taberah Technique mostly involves letting things get totally out of hand, preferably to the point something actually gets set on fire (Numbers 11:1). When the parties involved in mediation get desperate enough, and you get motivated to stay awake, it makes you look like the level-headed one (Numbers 11:2–3).

It’s easier to fall asleep meditating than while mediating. However, people will certainly be more offended if you snore while they’re trying to settle a dispute. It’s important, as a Christian, to avoid such mistakes.

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