Why do bad thongs happen to good people?

From Got Questions Ministries' Fashion Police:

Usually, bad thongs happen to good people when no one in their life is close enough, or loving enough, to correct their fashion choices. Let's face it, there is no such thing as a "good thong." If God had intended human beings to wear glorified dental floss as underwear, He'd have designed humans quite differently. So, even when someone's a good person, there is only one kind of thong that can happen: a bad thong.

From Got Questions Ministries' Human Resources:

Unlike many other ministries, Got Questions Ministries does not have an extensive dress code. The boss only wears shorts if it's above 85, but that's about it. When it comes to footwear, most of the staff wears tennis shoes; the 412teens editor wears Birks, and the Compelling Truth and Not Questions editors do occasionally wear flipflops. But they're not bad. . .

What? You mean the blue ones? Well, the gym is right by the office, and sometimes I forget clean socks. So I wear my shower slippers. They're not bad per se. Just cheap. And maybe a little muddy from crossing the flowerbed.

Please don't make me wear heels and hose!

From Got Questions Ministries' Audio Department:

Why do bad thongs happen to good people? Thometimeth, muthic is good. Thometimeth, it'th bad. Thad to thay, it ith pothibble for bad thongth to happen, even to the betht of people. One minute, the muthic ith fine. The necktht thing you know, the radio'th blaring Miley Thyruth. Why God allowth thith to happen, we cannot thay for thure. All thingth conthidered, it'th jutht part of the mythtery of why God leth bad thingth happen to good people. To minimithe exthpothure to bad thongth, thtay away little girlth mithing their two front teeth and uncontrolled radioth. Inthead, thelect muthic uthing devitheth like MP3 playerth.

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