Why does my church talk so much about tides?

Okay, it is true that I said while your broken leg healed, it is acceptable to find a church that streams its services. I then suggested several options that are close enough that you can attend in person once you could drive again. That was two years ago. Eighteen months after you took that monthlong road trip. Why haven't you started attending in person, yet?

You found a church you like.

And you can't drive there.

Because it's in France.

I didn't know you spoke French...Never mind.

Anyway, what's it called?

Mont-Saint-Michel Abbey.

Okay, I see the problem, here. Mont-Saint-Michel Abbey is a 1000-year-old French abbey and monastery run by the Monastic Fraternities of Jerusalem. It sits on a very small island called Le Mont-Saint-Michel Commune where the Couesnon River meets the ocean. They talk about tides so much because in 2015 the tides were so high the island was stranded—its bridge was underwater. They also keep track because during low tides tourists like to skip the bridge and try to walk across the salt marshes, and the monks have to rescue them.

Wait—I didn't think the Abbey streamed its services. How are you watching?

You hacked into their security feed. Delightful.

What was that? You're going to start attending? You're moving to France? What, are you going to take orders with the monks?

What to you mean "join the commune"—oh, no, in France a "commune" is like a township or an incorporated municipality. It doesn't mean…Never mind.

Yes, I did say it's best to physically attend your church. No, there's nothing unbiblical about living in France. Yeah, I suppose the robes are kind of cool.

I gotta go. I'm writing a sermon on tithing.

Au revoir.

That means…Never mind.

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