Do I need to have my son circle sized?

Some people believe it is absolutely necessary for all Christian males to be circle sized. This belief is especially popular in churches which have never heard the term “gluttony” and think potlucks are the cornerstone of “doing life together.” While such a belief might make the deacon in the 73-inch belt feel better, it’s not scriptural. Men who are oval-sized, square-sized, or even pear-sized need not worry. The God of the Bible will love your son, and you, even if you don’t round him out.

Unlike other rituals, such as having a child circumcised, there is no deep spiritual meaning to having a child circle sized. In fact, in the case of some sacraments, such as Baptism, it’s probably easier if the child is less spherical. Try to fully immerse a beach ball, and you’ll understand why.

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