Should I have dairy devotion?

Ohhh, this question can go quite off base very quickly.

Dairy devotionals refer to both those who love dairy cows and the media they create to celebrate that love. For those who are fans of dairy cows, there are many options. NotQuestions is not in a position to speak on the wisdom of dairy cow fandoms, however. We're certainly not going to endorse any of the following. Buyer beware.

Apparently several video games have cows. RuneScape, a fantasy MMORPG game set in "Gielinor" has cows. From the fandom site: "A dairy cow talks to the player during Cold War. During and after completing Cold War, players can steal cowbells from them. The Prized dairy cow can be milked for Top-quality milk, which is used in the Cook's Assistant quest."

Um, okay.

Tokyo Jungle also has dairy cows. Apparently they can be somewhat violent although they can be overtaken by a pack of Pomeranians.

My neighbor has Pomeranians. Can confirm.

I'll stick with the Minecraft cows, thank you. Apparently they can spawn inside a butcher's house, which is quite convenient.

Then there are cows in the furry fandom. Really, they're amateurs. Anyone who has seen Blackadder II knows the true human-cow hybrid is Nursie, Queenie's childhood nurse, who attends fancy dress balls as a cow with three udders.

I told you things would get weird.

There is also a scientific dairy cow fandom. The report "The high producing dairy cow and its reproductive performance" is a fair example. My uncle has been a member of this fandom for several years. After he retired as a USDA economist, he tried vermiculture, but apparently worms didn't give him the emotion satisfaction he found in the hyper-analysis of milk output.

It keeps him off the street.

Then there are fans of dairy products. I'm not just talking about cow milk products. People make milk out of soy, almonds or other nuts, rice, coconut, hemp, oats, peas, peanuts, flax, chia, quinoa, chickpeas, bananas, and yeast.

Then again, there are people who are actually making and ingesting blue Bantha milk.

But wait! There's more! Scientists have genetically modified goats to produce spider silk in their milk.

I just don't know what to say to that.

That's not true; I can't judge. Being both intolerant to lactose and grains and allergic to dairy and nuts, I recently made pudding for the first time in years. I used sweet potatoes, cocoa powder, maple syrup, and tigernut milk. So I really have no room to talk.

Having had pudding for the first time in years, I understand a bit how someone could be devoted to dairy. Still, although it's yummy, I wouldn't give up my daily devotions for it.

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