What are biblical family rolls?

Honestly, this is one of those questions that just irritates. I used to get full-on angry, but it took too much energy. Christians are supposed to be salt and light. We are supposed to build each other up. We're not supposed to place unrealistic, unbiblical expectations on one another.

There is no place in the church for bread-shaming.

I remember twenty years ago, here in Colorado Springs, where the thing for stay-at-home-moms was to get a wheat grinder, buy wheat by the 50-bag from some farmer in Montana, and grind your own flour so you can make your own bread. This is not a simple thing, people. My house sits at 6700'. Do you know how difficult it is to make bread at altitude? I can't even make decent banana bread! And now, you're telling me I'm not allowed to run down to the grocery store to buy a paper bag filled with ready-made flour for my hockey-puck-textured dinner rolls? Nope. This is not something I'm going to subject myself to.

Before long, knowing your wheatfield owner by name wasn't enough. It had to be organic wheat with no pesticides, harvested by combines powered by used cooking oil under the light of a new moon. Now, of course, it has to be all that plus gluten-free. I mean, I'm gluten free, but gluten-free wheat? I can't even.

You may have heard of the sour dough COVID lockdown fad where everybody is babying their starters and harvesting their wild yeast. Here, you not only have to make your bread a certain way, it has to be in an approved shape. Hot cross buns are good as long as your raisins have no sulfates. Croissants are acceptable if you use non-dairy butter. Baguettes are out as they too closely resemble weapons and that's the last thing kids need after being cooped up for 480 straight days.

For my fellow slacker sisters, let me reassure you: there is no such thing as biblical rolls. Buy your own wheat, grow your own wheat, buy flour from the store, make French bread, buy frozen cheesy bread—God doesn't care. I promise, dear reader, that you can even get your rolls from a tube in the fridge without getting struck by lightning.

And please don't feel shame if you can't make bread at altitude—that's why we have shipping companies that bring bread baked at sea level to us. Does Jeff bake his own bread? I wouldn't be surprised if he did. But he lives in Ohio. Like my husband, he does most of his family's cooking, knowing a man can cook and still align with biblical family roles. And I promise, neither one of them are going to bread-shame you.

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