What was the Levi tan?

Priests in the Old Testament Era were given specific instructions about their clothing. As the descendants of Levi went about their days under a middle eastern sun, this resulted in a characteristic pattern of skin bronzing. Over time, this distinctive shading became known as "the Levi tan." According to traditional accounts, this was especially appealing to unmarried Israeli maidens. In her treatise on such things, the Israeli poetess Joan said:

"I will not fail to speak of the Levi tan's limbs, their strength and graceful form…strength resides in his neck, make way before him! The shades of his flesh are tightly joined, they are firm and immovable. His chest is hard as rock, hard as a lower millstone…" Joan 41:12, 22–24

Needless to say, Joan's work was controversial. She wrote her "appreciation" of sunburnt priests in an era when others were penning odes to huge sea monsters like the leviathan. This was long before Song of Solomon made awkwardly-specific praise for body parts mainstream.

Still, impressionable youths were known to apply false color to their skin, trying to emulate the Levi tan. This trend continued into the New Testament era. Joses, a wealthy friend of Jesus, was fastidious about getting even coverage on his faux bronzing, often scolding his servants to "get behind me, spray tan!"

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