Why does God want us to love our emeries?

I don't know if God so much wants us to love our emeries as much as He'd like us to be content with our emeries and, honestly, stop complaining about a few minor inconveniences we have to endure during our six-hour trip across the country. I mean, the TSA has a big job. Since 9/11, they've had to try to check every single item of every single passenger of every single airline flight to make sure we're safe. Well, I mean, safe from hijackers. Not necessarily safe from the guy behind you who puts his feet on the back of your armrest or the woman who brings her support turkey.

I mean, I know it's a hassle to remember to check your unauthorized items. Over the last couple of years, we've lost a bottle of lotion and a bottle of shampoo. And I know the regulations on sharp, pointy things seem to not only change every month but are irregularly enforced. I lost one of those origami credit card knives one flight after watching it go through security six other times with no problem. And we all know that no 84-year-old woman is going to take over a plane with a pair of nail clippers.

But at least we still have emery boards. Whether you go with the thick, soft ones that have a buffer on one side or the old-school brown ones, they're okay to bring on your flight. That's one little thing we can be thankful for. Just don't spend the entire flight giving yourself a full-on manicure.

And remember, TSA agents aren't the bad guys. And even if you think they are, God tells us to love our enemies.

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