Why did Jesus tell us to love our enemas?

The Bible, indeed, infers that Jesus calls us to love our enemas. This important teaching can be understood through two basic Scriptural principles. First, we need to remove beams from our own eyes before trying to remove specks from the eyes of others (Matthew 7:3–5). Second, God chastens and disciplines those He loves to make them more like Him (Hebrews 12:6).

At times, Christians rightly earn the stereotype of being stuffy, humorless, or dour. For example, they might come to a satire site, labelled as satire, and not get that it's satire, so they complain about how the satire is not sufficiently churchy for churchy people to read. Not that this has ever happened to us, here. But somewhere, probably, there are some believers with a definite stick up their. . .uh. . .rear. Those are not easy to remove. What can those comedically constipated Christians do?

Sometimes, gridlock on one's digestive highway requires outside help to get things moving. Doctors might apply an enema. That basically means driving backwards up the off-ramp to help unstick the stuck stuff that's caught where the sun don't shine. In parallel with that, the solution to anal retentive legalism or prissy somberness would be to specifically ask the Son to shine. . .inside us.

This means to pray, as David did in an alternate translation of Psalm 51:10: "renew a right sphincter in me." This is an example of a suppository prayer, not to be confused with imprecatory prayers which are usually directed at enemies, not enemas. Such discipline is not always pleasant, but the result is much better than being perpetually clogged.

God's ego-lowering encouragements, to chill out and laugh a little, are spiritual enemas which we ought to love, even if that seems impossible. As for the real thing, remember: you may think your doctor's the enemy, but love her, anyway.

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