Is it wrong to smoke marred iguana?

Scripture is primarily concerned with broad, crucial ideas of eternal import. As such, the Bible gives no direct regulations about smoking marred iguana, pristine iguana, or any other category of inhalable reptiles. Still, as seen among wine, cigar, or cheese fanatics, iguana smokers develop passionate opinions. The issue of "marred iguana" versus "pure iguana" is a hot topic in the growing lizard-vaping subculture.

Extreme purists suggest that if the iguana is marred, it's not fit to be smoked. Some go as far as insisting the iguana be smoked as intact as possible, allowing one to inhale from the tip of the tail. This presents some difficulty in getting a good light, as iguana tongues are tricky to ignite even when properly dried.

On the other extreme, budget-minded iguana smokers have no qualms about packing shredded iguana into various pipes, hookahs, and bongs. Slightly deformed, bruised, or crooked iguana is no problem for someone intent on "Cheechin some Yoshi" without breaking the bank. Alternatively, cost-wary iguana enthusiasts opt for edibles, like Pringuanas or Cheez-Igs.

It's crucial to remember that any chemical substance can present risks for addiction or health problems. Even if the Bible doesn't give overt commands, those are both issues to consider carefully. That applies equally to anything, whether smoking marijuana, iguana, or a combination of the two—such as the recently-popular "Iguanja" developed after Willy Nelson got bored with his emotional-support reptile, Ganjzilla.

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