Once suave always suave?

No. You are 45. You have a minivan and a dad-bod. I know that back in college you could bounce a quarter off your abs, but now it's more likely to fall in your bellybutton, never to be heard from again.

Yes, I've heard the stories about how many girls you dated. I know you could make a girl blush just by glancing at her and cocking an eyebrow. And I've heard of how, back in your 20s, you could charm the socks off of old ladies and put a glint back in their eye.

But you are not that person anymore. You are not being a flirt—you are being creepy. It really doesn't help when you try to chat up some sweet young thing when you're with your three kids.

Go back to the wife of your youth and confess your sadness that life has moved on. Then remember there are better things than serial dating and holding in your gut until you pass out. Your wife has seen your dad-bod and still loves you. She's also been victim to your pathetic attempts at flirting and is still married to you. Don't think of marriage as something that keeps you from staying suave (as if that could happen). Think of marriage as something that lets you de-suave graciously.

Kinda like how Jesus saved you from your delusions of moral and spiritual coolness. Your days of being suave are gone and you've entered an inevitable decline into middle-aged squishiness. Just be thankful that when Jesus declares you once saved, you're always saved.

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