What is the best way to shear your face?

Plastic surgery is all the rage. It seems like every celebrity is getting something tucked, folded, inflated, or smoothed out. And let's not even start with Caitlyn Jenner. Whether those procedures are a good idea in the first place, they're definitely meant for professionals, only. No matter how ugly you think your mug is, it won't look any better if you saw off the handle. Or try to carve it, because ceramics don't cut well—whatever, I'm not the one who invented the phrase "ugly mug." Unless you want to look like the New52 version of the Joker, don't attempt to shear your face.

If you're a Christian looking for something remarkably more productive, and far less risky or painful, you can always look into sharing your faith. That might be awkward, at first, but it's not nearly as uncomfortable as at-home-cosmetic surgery.

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