What are the 12 vibes of Israel?

Some people give off a "vibe:" others instinctively associate them with a specific feeling, or theme, or aura. The twelve vibes of Israel are the results of predictions made by Jacob. That's the man God renamed Israel, and the person who explained the future of each of his sons, the patriarchs of the twelve tribes of Israel.

Each son's personality was unique, giving off their own "vibe." For the sake of modern understanding, we've compared each vibe to a common figure at a family reunion, as follows:

The Vibe of Reuben (Genesis 49:4): Eww. Like the sandwich, "seems OK until you look closer." Reuben once became very -ahem- "close" with his stepmother, and he never lived it down. The uncle everyone ignores except to talk about that one huge, humiliating, embarrassing moment in his life.

The Vibe of Simeon (Genesis 49:7): Tsk, tsk, tsk. The cousin who constantly got into trouble as a kid and fell off the radar, until he showed up one night and moved into Judah's garage.

The Vibe of Levi (Genesis 49:7): How 'bout that? Did the same stupid stuff as Simeon, along with Simeon, just as often as Simeon, but for some reason turned out OK and now seems like the family's moral compass.

The Vibe Of Judah (Genesis 49:8): [Rolling eyes] Here we go… The starting quarterback. Popular, famous, and athletic enough that people forget that he was a horrible brat as a child. Always seems to be in charge.

The Vibe of Zebulun (Genesis 49:13): What? The family friend who put a "Salt Life" sticker next to the Arizona license plate on their two-door micro car. Owns eight fish tanks, can't swim. Knows every nautical term, can't tie his own shoes.

The Vibe of Issachar (Genesis 49:14): Awkward laugh. The more-than-a-little backward cousin who's always butting into conversations, never realizing he's butting in. Decent blue-collar-type guy, with the social skills of a barnyard animal.

The Vibe of Dan (Genesis 49:17): Hairs on the back of the neck. The too-quiet cousin who's overly fond of knives and looks like he sets fires in his spare time. Whatever happened to him?

The Vibe of Asher (Genesis 49:20): Content sigh. The foodie / movie buff / bookworm, never seen without a smile and a snack.

The Vibe of Naphtali (Genesis 49:21): Like, whoah, cool. The ultra-free-spirited aunt from California, visiting with her five out-of-control, free-range, obnoxiously photogenic kids. Lives on her neighbor's marijuana farm and looks like a runway model.

The Vibe of Joseph (Genesis 49:22): Better than you. Dad's favorite, always knew it, still lived up to it. The one hosting the reunion at his summer home, giving his grown lawyer-doctor kids advice about stocks while his Senate campaign ad plays in the background. Stubbornly refuses to give anyone good reason to dislike him…which is really, really, annoying.

The Vibe of Benjamin (Genesis 49:27): Anxious irritation. That "one kid" at the reunion with no discipline, no manners, and no chill. Spilling, breaking, taking, eating and mangling everything in sight, when he's not sticking his fingers in doorjambs or jumping off the stairs. Hyped up like a caffeinated ferret because mom lets him "take a break from his medication on weekends."

Jacob's predictions from Genesis chapter 49 would come to pass, with each tribe living out their "vibe" as recorded in the Old Testament. Like many family gatherings, Israel's foray into the Promised Land would be mostly remembered for scandal and mistakes, an unfortunate "vibe" all its own.

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