Is typing required of Christians in the new covenant?

To be clear, the New Covenant is God's promise that Jesus has carried all our sins and if we put our faith in Him, our sins will be forgiven, and God will restore our relationship with Him.

In this context, "typing" does not mean sitting down at a typewriter or keyboard and pushing buttons. Of course typing isn't required in the New Covenant! The typewriter wasn't even invented until the 1800s!

No, "typing" refers to how iPhone users have to put text into their phones. Unlike Android lovers, who can swipety-swipe and get most of their words correct, iPhoners have to push each little electronic key. "Typing" has become the symbol for all things iPhone. And, as we all know, iPhone users think anyone who uses an Android is an unwashed heathen. Why?

iPhones take better pictures.

And they're easier to use.

And they're faster

And they have better updates.

And they're really expensive.

And it's a status symbol to always have the latest version.

Even if you have to sell your car to afford it.

And you can't afford food for your kids.

But at least you have really good pictures of them.

"I type" has the same Gematria number as "cults."

Wait…what? The ancient, mystic Hebrew practice of assigning numbers to letters reveals that in English, "I type" has the same value as "cults?"

No wonder iPhoners are so willing to spend so much for each new release! The primary purpose of cults is to take your money! They may as well give Apple a tithe!

---