What is uniform terrorism?

Uniform terrorism comes in many different forms. In the late 80s, in Air Force ROTC detachments around the country, it was personified by wool service dress which cadets of that era still swear were made out of lint. Underclass female cadets remember being terrorized by "berets" that looked like upside-down cereal bowls.

Later, officers and enlisted alike cried "Uniform terrorism!" when the powers that be kept changing patterns and fabric. Commands routinely ordered all active duty personnel to purchase new ABUs to replace the old BDUs or new blues because they added stripes to the sleeves so everyone looked like an airline pilot. The cost was astronomical.

But uniforms can also be terrorized. Flight suits are very comfortable but should only be worn by those with a BMI of less than 10.3. Anyone with any kind of a tummy looks like a green potato. And the ironing inflicted on the poor BDUs? Have mercy! Cotton plus starch can make a crease sharp enough to shave with.

Military uniform changes can create a kind of catastrophism; one small patch change can ripple throughout the branch, causing havoc in every unit and a three-week back-up at the base alterations shop (no one wants to sew on their own patches). Active duty and Reserve personnel would prefer an approach inspired by geological uniformitarianism: find some good fabric, find a pattern and color scheme that will fit several climates, and then stick with it.

At least long enough to pay off the loan for the mess dress.