What is a proburb?

As you know, suburbs are areas in and around cities that predominantly contain homes, particularly homes of people who work in the city proper. The etymology derives from "sub," meaning under or near, and "urbs," meaning "city." Suburbs grew in popularity when transportation technology developed to the point that middle-class men could travel into the dirty squalor of the city in order to work, but they could live farther out where the air, water, and streets were cleaner.

A "proburb" is a type of suburb where professional athletes live. We're talking 8 bedrooms, 14 bathrooms, a putting green on the pool, and an indoor go-cart track. Fourteen-acre lots where every blade of grass is cut with nail clippers. A garage elevator disguised as a turret. Dog suites with reflecting pools. In a gated community where the gate is a teleport.

Should you become a professional athlete in order to own a home in a proburb? You'll have to know the sport really well (Proverbs 24:3). Don't cheat just for money for the mortgage (Proverbs 21:12). And remember to limit who comes to your parties (Proverbs 17:1).

And don't jump ahead. Practice your sprints, your tackles, and your catches before you sign the contract. Like Proverbs 24:27 says, "Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house."

---