Easter Egg! Who are the seven arch anvils?

Here is an example of every episode:

#1: I'm 30 years old. I have the spirit of a Viking which is why my head is shaved and tattooed. I've been forging for ten years. I'm a grade school music teacher. My beard is fourteen inches long and braided in a way that will easily get caught in the grinder.

#2: I'm 19 years old. I was homeschooled. I've been forging for six months, but I know a lot about weapons because I play a lot of video games. I don't have a beard. I weigh 90 pounds, and my hair is all the way down my back.

#3: I'm 55 years old. I'm a full-time weapons maker and have been for 78 years. I never crack under pressure because I'm also a neurosurgeon. My beard is eight inches long.

#4: I'm 43 years old. I like forging because I have 13 kids and they're not allowed in the forge. If I win, all the prize money goes to my wife. My beard is four inches long.

Captain Tight Pants: These are your judges: Former Forged in Fire Champion Ben Abbott, historical weapon recreation specialist Dave Baker, and edged weapon and Kali martial artist Doug Marcaida. You have three hours to make your signature blade. It must have a through-tang, and the blade must be ten to twelve inches long. You will make it out of this material: [whips cloth off of top of barrel] pencil lead and broccoli!

#1: Broccoli? I've never worked with broccoli! But I have the spirit of a Viking, so I should be fine. I'm going to make my signature Bowie knife.

#2: Cool. Pencil lead, just like the game Space Invaders of Doom and Destruction. I'm going to make an all-purpose camp knife.

#3: This isn't too bad. Back in the day, we had to use cow patties. I'm going to make my signature chef's knife.

#4: Last night was the most sleep I've gotten in fourteen years. I'm going to make a cross between a meat cleaver and a katana.

Doug Marcaida: Wow. We're ten minutes into the competition and #1 is already done.

Ben Abbott: #2 is already quenching his knife. Interesting, since it's still just a pile of pencil lead and broccoli. Oh, look, he dropped it in the quenching barrel.

Dave Baker: #3 didn't clean his broccoli. He's never going to get a good weld that way.

Doug Marcaida: #4 has had to remake his knife eight times. He now only has ten minutes left.

CTP: Put down your blades! The judges have looked over your work. Unfortunately, #3, your blade does not match parameters. It needs to be between ten and twelve inches long, and it's only four. I'm afraid I need to ask you to leave the forge.

#3: This was a good learning experience and I had a good time. I just needed to pay closer attention to the parameters.

CTP: For the next part of your competition, you need to refine your blades and make a finger guard, a pommel, and a handle. You have two hours.

#1: I'm going to take out the warp by breathing on the metal and reshaping it with my teeth. Then I'm going to make a handle out of my own femur.

#2: I need to grind out some of the delams where the pencil lead didn't adhere to the broccoli. Then I'm going to bend this brass...

Dave Baker: Brass doesn't bend...

*Snap!*

#2: Oh, that didn't work. I'll try again.

Ben Abbott: Didn't he learn from the last time?

*Bend*

#2: This one worked. Now I'm going to get some mammoth tusk for the handle.

#4: I spent an hour and a half trying to sand out that one little spot, and I've already messed up four different handles. I'm just going to make one out of superglue.

CTP: Time's up! Present your knives.

Doug Marcaida: #4, your blade sliced through this car easily, and it felt secure in my hand. Mostly because the Superglue hasn't set yet. Your blade will cut.

Ben Abbott: #2, your handle spins around like a top, and your guard cut my finger, but it went through that oil barrel like butter. Your blade will chop.

Mr. Dave Baker: #1, are you ready for the strength test?

#1: Let's do this!

CTP: #1, you have a good-looking knife and you put a lot of effort in it. Unfortunately, your blade flew off the handle and cut off Dave Baker's arm. That is a catastrophic failure. I need to ask you to leave the forge.

#1: This was a good learning experience, and I had a lot of fun. I'm a Viking, so I'm not going to quit.

CTP: #2, #4, you have proven you are fine forgers. You will now go to your home forge where you will have five days to make this iconic weapon from history: The Klingon Bat'leth!

#2: Cool. This is going to be a challenge. Especially since my home forge is only six inches long.

#4: What the hairy heck?

[A week later]

CTP: Weapons makers. You have had five days at your home forge to make a Klingon Bat'leth. #2, how did it go?

#2: It went well. I don't have any power tools, so I hand-hammered and grinded everything. Then on the end of day four I tried it out on a watermelon and it broke, so on day 5 I made another one. The blade is Damascus steel, and I put a wrap on it that I spun from the wool from my pet alpaca.

CTP: #4, how did it go for you?

#4: I almost finished it when the shop caught on fire and that caught my house on fire. We're homeless, now, but I managed to anneal it in the burning embers and quench it in the kids' wading pool.

CTP: First, the kill test. Doug Marcaida will stab and hack at these frozen water buffalo carcasses.

Doug Marcaida: #2, your Bat'leth cut through the spine of this water buffalo in three chops. It will kill. #4, your Bat'leth took four chops to cut through this water buffalo. It will kill.

#2: Phew!

#4: Maybe my wife will let me come home.

CTP: Now, the strength test. Ben Abbott will hack at this engine block.

Ben Abbott: I don't care what happens to the engine block, I want to see the damage to your blade. #2, you have some chips and rolls, but it's mostly good. #4, your blade turned inside-out. Never seen that before.

CTP: Finally, the sharpness test. Mr. Dave Baker is back with a robotic arm. He will see if your blades can slice through this piece of paper.

Mr. Dave Baker: #4, your inside-out Bat'leth is so sharp the paper ran away before I could reach it. #2, your Bat'leth pierced the paper fine, but then it tore, not sliced. But on the second attempt, it broke into 27 pieces.

CTP: Gentlemen, this competition is fierce, but we can only have one champion: #4. #2, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the forge.

#2: I had a good time, and I learned a lot. I'm going to go home and make a D'k tahg and try to figure out how to talk to girls.

CTP: Congratulations, #4. You win the competition and $10,000. What are you going to do with the money?

#4: Wow. This is just humbling. I think I'm going to get a pop-up tent so the kids can sleep inside this winter.

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