Why did God promise the Israelites cruises if they disobeyed?

Not a bad question. Today, it appears Jews love cruises. There are holiday cruises where the whole ship celebrates Hanukkah or Passover together. There are kosher cruises where all the buffets follow the Mosaic Law for food—no shrimp at this barbie! Jewish single cruises for those with no shadchan to find them a spouse. Even Bar and Bat Mitzvah cruises.

Initially, God let the Israelites have cruises because of their obedience. When Jochebed realized she couldn't keep baby Moses safe from the Egyptians, she sent him on a cruise down the river. No death on this Nile, just an Egyptian princess (Exodus 2:1-10). King Solomon took inspiration from Jochebed and got into the shipping business. "They sailed to Ophir and brought back 420 talents of gold, which they delivered to King Solomon" (1 Kings 9:28). Later, though, God wrecked the ships (2 Chronicles 20:37).

In the 400 years of silence, if Jew was on a ship, it often meant he'd been sold into slavery. Fortunately, the Romans often found Jewish slaves inconvenient what with their food requirements and refusal to work on the Sabbath.

"Cruise," of course, can also mean to travel, like to "cruise on down the road." To Jews, that meant exile, like the mass exile of Judah to Babylon. Decades of being away from their homeland, knowing Jerusalem and the Temple lay in ruins, was not something the Jews enjoyed. In fact, they rather found it a curse.

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