What is a King James virgin?

As biblical illiteracy continues to increase in 21st century culture, there are a significant number of people who are completely unfamiliar with biblical terminology. This is particularly true with archaic words from the King James Version. A King James virgin, then, is a person who is unexperienced with in the King James Version of the Bible.

Here are some questions typically asked by King James virgins:

• Why did God give emerods to the Philistines? Are those like emeralds? (see 1 Samuel 5:6, KJV)
• How does sin produce concupiscence? Sounds painful. (see Romans 7:8, KJV)
• What does it mean to buffet your body? Spend too much time at Golden Corral? (see 1 Corinthians 9:27, KJV)
• What is a husbandman? Isn't a husband always a man? (see 2 Timothy 2:6, KJV)
• What is a peradventure? Sounds fun! (see Genesis 24:39, KJV)
• What if I don't want to eat the purtenance? (see Exodus 12:9, KJV)
• Wait, the Sith from Star Wars are in the Bible? (see Ezekiel 35:6, KJV)
• What if I don't want God to take away my mufflers, wimples, and crisping pins? (see Isaiah 3:19-22, KJV)

Even those familiar with the King James Version get confused about some terms, and no one has to use a translation with such outdated language. It's perfectly fine to be King James virgin.

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