What is the ralph of God?

There's significant theological discussion about the identity of the ralph of God. Those who think the Hebrew term is capitalized suggest that it may be Wreck-it-Ralph, a pre-flood giant with anger management problems that served as a foreshadow of Samson. (Not many know that the reason it took Noah 100 years to build the ark is because Ralph tore it apart. Twice.)

"Ralph of God" was also used as a political slogan for the ill-fated 2000 presidential run of Ralph Nader. The slogan was proposed by a well-meaning intern from Connecticut to highlight how Mr. Nader desired to protect undefended consumers. The staffer had taken it from "Ralph of Cod," a fish wholesaler in her hometown, Stonington, but when Nader realized he would be appropriating the culture of an honest business, he stopped the marketing campaign.

A papyrus scroll found in the Qumran caves, however, suggests "ralph" is not capitalized. It's not a person, but God's reaction to people. Considering all the horrible idolatry the Israelites engaged in, it's easy to see that God has a strong stomach. Although, He did tell them to relieve themselves outside the camp, in a hole, and then bury fill the hole with sand. The reason being He was in their camp and didn't want to see it (Deuteronomy 23:12-14).

But if there's one thing God can stomach less than idolatry or poop, it's lukewarm Laodiceans. They thought their love for Christ was a great tidal wave when it was just a piddly little stream. He told the church, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth" (Revelation 3:15-16). Yes, lukewarm Laodiceans are the ralph of God.

The letter to the Laodiceans was one of seven to churches in Asia Minor. Jesus wanted the people there to seriously consider whether they followed Him because if they didn't, they'd have to face the wrath of God.

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