Should?! Should a woman wear paints? Why? Just because females portrayed in media are so covered in makeup we've forgotten what skin looks like? I mean, men can roll out of bed, ruffle their hair, and be good to go with that 5-day beard. If I don't wear concealer, foundation, and 12 other layers, do you know the first thing I hear from men? "You look tired. You shouldn't work so hard."
Oh, reeeallly. Well, maybe I was too busy getting the kids up, trying to get them to log into school, getting in a workout—because God
forbid I have cellulite—throwing in a load of laundry, hitting the shower, rushing downstairs to find Britnee's internet connection has gone down, finding out the dog had unplugged the monitor—but the camera works just fine, Zooming my wet hair sticking up in all directions—and rushing back upstairs just to find I have five minutes before I need to leave for work. So, I have a choice—spend that five minutes trying to tame my hair or throw on makeup. Which would you choose? To go out in the face God gave me or plaster on the makeup and look like Medusa all day?
Do you know how expensive makeup is? How hard it is to find your exact skin tone after one day in the sun at Giani's soccer tournament? Do you actually think that Alicia Keys
doesn't use makeup to get that "all-natural look"? Not only does she wear makeup, she uses a "jade roller," a laser, and a makeup artist! Just to look like she doesn't wear makeup!
Yeah, women should wear paint—war paint! Gimme some of that charcoal and crushed berries. Watch me draw the symbols of my people on my face to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies. You like how I spend hundreds of dollars so you have a pretty face to look at? Well, I'm done! I'm done with false eyelashes and over-plucked eyebrows and eyes burning from my organic, gluten-free mascara. I'm done with clogged pores that cause even more acne that I have to cover with more makeup. I'm done constantly wondering which shade of lipstick exudes conservative confidence without crossing the line into skanky. But I'm also done with men asking me if I'm tired, so if I show up with dark circles and pale eyebrows and you make one comment, you're going to have to borrow my concealer for that nice shiner coming your way.
And not one word about not being able to tell I'm a woman. Back in the day, men got used to
women wearing pants—you can get used to looking at my real face.